wannabe

Rematch just isn’t a game where you can 1v5. Goalkeepers are blessed with unlimited stamina, ball hogs are easily stolen from, and it’s pretty easy to react to a lone player’s desperate shot at the goal. That hasn’t stopped some players from instantly dropping ten smackers on the Ronaldinho skin and treating the ball like the One Ring.

Rematch is in the advanced access phase of its Steam launch (it’s out in full on Thursday) and players on Reddit have already been bonding over a mutual disdain for anyone with anime protagonist syndrome, particularly those dressing up their characters to look like those from soccer manga Blue Lock.

“During the beta I was wondering why every wannabe Messi who doesn’t know where the pass button is had the same exact haircut,” observed user fkitbaylife. “Looks like it has carried to release as well lol.”

The game launched with a skin available for $10 in the shop modeled after the Brazilian wizard himself, Ronaldinho Gaúcho, and some players are finding it’s a reliable indicator of World Cup-grade egos.

“Every single person who uses the Ronaldinho skin is trash as well,” said Business_Criticism42 on the same thread. “Think they are the best thing since sliced bread trying to 1v1 everyone and never pass. I’m gonna continue to quit if I ever see a skin in a lobby.”

Of course, plenty of folks are just having fun and finding their footing in the world of Rocket League sans cars. X user GameParax laid out their experience of an earlier beta as a Blue Lock fan: “After playing Rematch all weekend I can 100% say everything they do in Blue Lock is justified, it’s 1000% that serious.”

Reddit user The_Falenator also stood up for the soccer shonen community: “Not everyone is like this. I’m Tabito Karasu or Reo normally, but I’m a more defensive type of player and cant attack to save my life. I personally don’t think I’m toxic myself, though.”

Underneath the jokes, the common complaint is that some players refuse to pass, a behavior they’ll have to shed to move up the ranks. Players are debating whether there should be some more obvious mechanical incentive to convince these players that it’s a team game.

Reddit user Adventurous-Peak-778 argued that “without some kind of penalty, people have no need to pass;” though in the replies, Next-Cheesecake381 pointed out “the penalty is losing.” Taking a more imaginative posture, MysteriousElephant15 replied: “Yeah, coach should run out onto the field and beat them with a stick.”

Suffice it to say, hogging the ball won’t get you far and it certainly won’t make you popular. No asymmetrical roles or carry mechanics exist to prop up all star players; the true mark of a great Rematch player will be the ability to make nice with strangers for the six minutes or so it takes to get through a game.

“If they throw, play selfishly, be an asshole, then yeah, fuck them, but as a sub can we not just hate on everyone and anyone who likes Blue Lock and also plays Rematch,” said SerowiWantsToInvest. Reddit user Jangerows, who started the thread calling in-game Blue Lock cosplayers “mediocre LARPers,” issued a simple reply: “I’ll try.”

If you’re prepared to join hands with your fellow gamer, whether they love Blue Lock or have no idea what that is, and hit the pitch together, you can find Rematch on Steam.

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Byond is an old, free game engine that’s been around since at least the early 2000s in games like Space Station 13, to cite one we’ve talked about recently. It’s also been the subject of a sustained DDoS attack, according to a MassivelyOP report, that’s now into at least it’s third week.

And why, exactly, would someone launch a DDoS attack against an obscure game engine, and keep it up for this long? According to a now-deleted Reddit post, available via the Wayback Machine, a group calling itself “the international free and open-source software community” is doing it to pressure Byond creator LummoxJR into making the software open source.

“Attacks on Byond servers are a symptom of your obstinance,” the extremely talking-like-Sephiroth message states. “They will persist as long as you ignore the voices of those who keep your platform afloat. We demand you voluntarily side with progress.

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“Choose: Let Byond die as a proprietary relic, or let it rise as a free project. Time is running out.”

Whether or not that’s a legitimate claim, I cannot say. It certainly doesn’t sound like a good reason to throw up a sustained DDoS attack, but I’ve been on the internet long enough to know that ‘this sounds too stupid to be true’ is at best 50/50 when it comes to predicting whether something actually is true.

In a Reddit thread that went up not long after the attack began, appropriately entitled “What kind of maniac DDoSes Byond?” users suggested other possible rationales for the attack, most of them variants on “some guy got mad on the internet.” LummoxJr implied in the thread that they’re not sure about the real reason for the DDoS, but wrote that they’d “heard a rumor as to how this started, and it doesn’t really involve Byond; it was just a grudge between someone and a server that escalated.”

Whatever initially touched it out, the fires are still burning: The Byond website remains inaccessible, and as of the latest update to the DDoS Downtime Megathread, mitigation efforts are ongoing but there’s no ETA for a full restoration. In a separate thread posted May 23, LummoxJR said they’re “still dealing with the thing,” but also took a kind of bright-side view of the ongoing mess.

“I know the current situation has pushed a lot of us into closer contact than normal, and in many ways that’s a good thing,” they wrote. “But there have been some folks coming into new spaces hot, especially thinking they have a new idea that actually isn’t new. I know it comes from a good place. Let’s just all remember to show each other a little extra leeway and respect.”

And in good news for people who actually use Byond, it’s not out of reach: The website is down but some parts of it, including bug reports and downloads, are now being hosted on Discord.

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Ball hogs and ‘wannabe Messis’ are already the heels of the Rematch community: ‘Coach should run out onto the field and beat them with a stick’

Byond game engine suffers a weeks-long DDoS attack, apparently because a wanna-be Bond villain is trying to force it to go open source: ‘Attacks on Byond servers are a symptom of your obstinance’