John Carpenter’s The Thing is very nearly a perfect movie, but the opening scene is wholly unnecessary, and reduces the impact of the horrors that follow.
Genre fans bemoan the proliferation of remakes in horror, and they’re probably right when it comes to updates of Psycho, Jacob’s Ladder, Child’s Play, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. Though that approach did gives us Nic Cage shouting about the bees in his Wicker Man do-over, so it’s not all bad.
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There have also been some truly great genre remakes, from Philip Kaufman’s Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and David Cronenberg’s The Fly, to Gore Verbinski’s The Ring and James Watkins’ Speak No Evil.
But best of all is arguably John Carpenter’s re-imagining of The Thing From Another World, which he reduced to The Thing in 1982. While I love the result, I also hate the first two minutes, which rob the movie of mystery in its early scenes.
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How The Thing currently begins
Universal Pictures
The Thing kicks off with 90 seconds of credits, before we hear the rumbling of a spaceship, which then spins into view, careering through space. The craft quickly bursts into flames as it approaches earth, before that iconic title card busts through the screen, proclaiming this to be “The Thing.”
Carpenter’s memorably sparse electronic score then fires up, as the words “Antarctica, Winter 1982” set the scene, before darkness gives way to light, and we’re introduced to a snowy landscape.
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A helicopter flies into view, with a man hanging off the side, searching for something in the white expanse. Carpenter cuts to a sled dog speeding through the snow, and when the man pulls out a rifle, it becomes clear that the animal is being hunted.
He fires multiple times, but the canine evades him, and makes it to the United States Science Institute Station 4, while the gunman is killed before he can explain the bizarre chase.
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Why that spacecraft reveal is unforgivable
Universal Pictures
Trouble is, because of that opening scene, we suspect it has something to do with the spaceship. The incident inspires the Americans to investigate a nearby Norwegian base, where they find the charred corpse of what looks to be a deformed human. And once again we can be pretty sure this has something to do with whatever crash-landed on earth.
It’s the same when the dog seems to subsume other canines in his kennel – there’s got to be something extra-terrestrial going down, particularly as those 30 seconds alerted us to that fact.
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The American scientists soon suspect that whatever arrived inside the dog can imitate other lifeforms, and realize it is alien in origin when they find the buried spaceship.
This means viewers have been one step ahead of the characters for the entire first act. But excise those first 120 seconds – or, more specifically, the spacecraft’s introduction – and The Thing is a very different movie.
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Universal Pictures
Man chasing dog becomes more of a head-scratcher, as does that messed up corpse, and especially the canine body horror.
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Has nature turned on us? Is this some virus that’s wiping out humanity? Has man’s best friend somehow evolved into our worst enemy?
These are all questions the audience should be asking themselves until the discovery of that ship. But instead, we have to wait for the characters to catch up, robbing the film of both mystery and suspense.
So if you love The Thing as much as I do, next time you introduce it to a newbie, press play at the two minute mark – or scrub through those key seconds – and allow them to experience the very best version of Carpenter’s classic.
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For more scary stuff, here’s a guide to video game The Thing Remastered, and you can also check out our list of the best horror movies of all time.
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