I see so much slop on my TikTok feed these days that most of it doesn’t faze me. However, for the past week or so, I’ve seen ads promoting what are very clearly AI-generated Christmas ornaments featuring famous characters in situations that their respective IP holders would probably never approve of. I can’t unsee these horrors, so now, I’m making it your problem. You ever seen Belle from Beauty and the Beast making an ahegao face as she gets spanked over Beast’s knee? Do you know what the Grinch looks like on his knees, worshipping a mystery Grinch lady’s uncomfortably caked-up rear-end? Well, it’s too late to turn back now. Look at it:
©Homacus
These monstrosities come courtesy of Homacus, a personalized gift shop that lets you print the names of yourself and your significant other on a “naughty” Christmas ornament featuring beloved characters like Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Shrek and Fiona, Batman and Catwoman, and many more that I doubt Disney, DC, and the numerous other rights holders signed off on. But hey, I’m open to being wrong, so I did reach out to Homacus for comment on the matter and will update the story if we hear back. Whatever the case, the company is very boldly paying for ads to make innocent bystanders like me very, very aware these ornaments exist. Think of all the poor bastards trying to scroll TikTok in peace who saw Jack Skellington tossing Sally’s salad. We already get enough psychic damage on the internet, and now we’re dealing with this?
The whole thing reeks of Facebook ad core shit that sites sell to boomers who think referencing anything sexual outside the bedroom is scandalous. It’s the type of pent-up sexual frustration that reminds you there are couples out there who rarely see each other naked, so having things like this hanging off their Christmas tree is as raunchy as it gets. I don’t care what debauchery is happening behind closed doors; just don’t make me look at Minecraft creepers smacking each other’s dumpies.