Right, put your hands on the table. Please. I won’t ask again. Thank you. Stellar Blade arrived on PC as of June 11th, and naturally that’s brought a new lease of life the the modding community who’d only had a demo to play with up until that point. Around 40% of the game’s mods over on the Nexus right now are a bit risqué, so we’ve done you a favour and picked out the three filthiest on offer.
Don’t feel you have to thank us. Well, me. This is all part of the job description, alongside all of the holding power to account and providing a service to the consumer stuff. Odds are my Pulitzer’s already in the post.
Okay, you ready? Having searched through the 222 Stellar Blade works on Nexus Mods as of writing, I isolated the 90 tagged as ‘adult’, and calculated that those numbers meant the racy, lecherous, and bawdy stuff made up exactly 40.54% of the total. Then, my instincts kicked in. I began a search for the naughtiest of the naughty, the hardcore horniness-inducers. I found three things.
First of all, and promise me you’ll remain calm, I found the work of modder WTails358. I present to you, dear reader, their Casual Wear. As you’ll see if you click that link after making sure there are no kids or people with pacemakers nearby, this utterly smutty mod clothes Eve in an incredibly chic autumnal turtleneck-style jumper with a dragon design on it.
That sumptuous garment, which tastefully bares her midriff, is paired with delightfully retro chunky trousers that form the perfect constrast via their bright porcelain hue. Completing the look are a striking aquatically-themed belt buckle in gold, and a pair of understated boots that combine practicality with high fashion. Reader, just breathe, I know your temperature’s rising with every word, but you must maintain control.
If you’re alright to continue, I’ll introduce you to this Formal Wear. Steady now. Take deep breaths. I know, it’s an elegant suit and tie combo that allows Eve to cut an equally striking and refined figure that’d look at home on any of the catwalks in Milan or Paris. C’est magnifique, especially twinned with the rounded spectacles that cast Eve as a shrewd, sharp individual who knows what good vintage burgundy tastes like. Phwoar indeed.
However, you mustn’t get carried away, because I have one more totally pornographic mod to show you. It’s modder Tenshiken1’s Thomas the Tank Engine replacer for the stalker boss. Oh no. You’ve blown your whistle. You’vre chugged along the tracks and let out a deep, lustful choo-choo. I hope you’re proud of yourself. What would Sir Topham Hat think?
Well, at least you’ve got time to ruminate on your failings and appreciate the non-jiggly things in life while you wait for more info from Shift Up about Stellar Blade 2.