There’s an extremely funny clip of political commentator Hasan Piker watching a video in which the guy narrating makes a joke about following Piker for reasons other than “his political views.” Piker pauses the video and goes to check and finds out that the creator does, in fact, subscribe to his Twitch channel, and then after he’s done, he unpauses the video and the narration continues with “thanks for unpausing the video, Hasan.” Piker, knowing he’s been read to filth, screams into his mic because this embarrassing moment has been caught on camera for millions to see. This is basically what just happened to me at Gamescom’s Opening Night Live, in which Obsidian released a new trailer for The Outer Worlds 2 focusing on the RPG’s companions. Knowing that the original game didn’t include romantic relationships, I dropped a message in the Kotaku slack asking if I would be able to kiss a space man this time around, only for the trailer to say “and no, you can’t sleep with them” seconds later. Well fuck you, too, Mr. Announcer Guy.
I don’t know shit about fuck regarding this merry band of misfits, but I did see Tristan in all his rugged, bearded glory swinging around a giant hammer and my brain turned off. I can’t so much as give him a light peck on the cheek, but I guess we don’t all get what we want in this life, do we Obsidian? Why would you put this man in front of me if I can’t take a bite? Why show me something if I can’t have it? Isn’t this how Uncut Gems started? Just waving desirable things in front of people willing to pay money for them, only for it all to ultimately end in chaos and destruction?
Anyway, The Outer Worlds 2 is coming to PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X/S on October 29, and I only accidentally typed Outer Wilds 2 once while writing this blog.