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Elden Ring Nightreign's evil Deep Of Night mode gets a release date, but some people are already playing it
Game Updates

Elden Ring Nightreign’s evil Deep Of Night mode gets a release date, but some people are already playing it

by admin August 28, 2025



Elden Ring Nightreign will get a new rock-hard Expedition mode called Deep of Night on 11th September. “Rock-hard” is a cliché worn to uselessness, of course: to be more specific, this is at least tungsten-carbide-hard, possibly even as hard as stishovite, though the exact degree of toughness is variable.


It’s variable because Deep of Night gets statistically harder, the more you win, with a difficulty rating or “depth” that fluctuates based on wins and losses. Enemies are tougher than usual by default, and you can’t specify which Nightlord you’re hunting, so be prepared for nasty surprises. There are new special Depth Relics, exclusive to this mode, which sadistically bundle together additional buffs and debuffs.


Hungry for more d33tz? Lucky for you, dataminers managed to unearth Deep of Night from the existing game’s files a whole three weeks ago, as written up by Mark. It looks like there are five “depths” in total, and there is mention of “magmafied” enemy variants.


Following the aforesaid datamining, Elden Ring Nightreign modders have contrived to get the mode operational and begun posting videos that show off some of the new gear. Kotaku have a write-up of those videos in which we are exposed to the harrowing truth that rats in the starting camp take three hits to kill, not two. Seriously, this is the kind of switch-up that could wreck a whole expedition. There’s also talk of one of the new gear items, a Sentry’s Torch that increases lightning damage negation while increasing the damage taken from the peripheral Night’s Tide.

Watch on YouTube


Seems fun? I find that every From game gets harder, the more I play it, but then again, that also applies to getting up in the morning as I age. I’m pretty sure datamining wasn’t what From Software had in mind when they talked about hidden depths. I’d ask them to comment, but they might get mad and throw a paperweight at me (+10 poise break).



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Elden Ring Nightreign's Deep Of Night Is An Endless "High-Difficulty Expedition Mode" Coming Next Month
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Elden Ring Nightreign’s Deep Of Night Is An Endless “High-Difficulty Expedition Mode” Coming Next Month

by admin August 28, 2025


Since launching in May, Elden Ring Nightreign, the multiplayer roguelike spinoff of Elden Ring, has continued to receive updates introducing new bosses and more. Now, developer From Software has announced the game’s biggest update yet – Deep of Night – will go live next month on Thursday, September 11. 

Deep of Night is a “high-difficulty” Expedition challenge mode “designed for seasoned players who have navigated through the Night many times,” the studio writes in a press release, suggesting this already-difficult game is going to get a lot harder soon. In Deep of Night, the enemies are stronger than usual. Plus, you cannot specify the target Nightlord for the Expedition, meaning the final boss of the run will be random. 

 

Alongside this, From Software says ongoing terrain changes will not be reflected, and that special items such as “Depth Relics,” which are exclusive to Deep of Night, and weapons with multiple additional but also detrimental effects, will appear on runs. Furthermore, the difficulty increases the deeper you descend, and “the ratings will fluctuate based on wins and losses, affecting the depth.” 

From Software says players should aim to surpass Depth 3, and notes that Depth 4 to Depth 5 will “feature an endless battle for those seeking even greater thrills,” suggesting that Deep of Night can turn into an endless-run mode. 

The Deep of Night update for Elden Ring Nightreign goes live on Thursday, September 11. 

In the meantime, read Game Informer’s Elden Ring Nightreign review. 



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Depth, player expression, and years of iteration: Pragmata's producer on the key to nailing the game's weird and wonderful core mechanic
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Depth, player expression, and years of iteration: Pragmata’s producer on the key to nailing the game’s weird and wonderful core mechanic

by admin August 28, 2025


“I don’t really want to delve into previous concepts,” Pragmata producer Naoto Oyama tactfully offers, after I prod at the prickly topic of the lengthy development of Capcom’s latest weird and wonderful offering.

This mysterious game about the unlikely pairing of a spacesuit-clad bloke and a barefoot young kid (who is, of course, actually an android) has been rattling around for years. First announced in 2020, it was originally slated for a 2022 release. It was then shunted to 2023, then delayed indefinitely. Now, it’s locked in for a 2026 release. Perhaps understandably, Oyama doesn’t really want to talk about all that.

“Just verbally it might sound like, ‘oh this was great and that was great’ – even if on the whole, in the game, it didn’t work,” the amiable producer, who also worked on Dragon’s Dogma 2, explains. “So we’re going to skip over talking about what we had in the past and delve into what we have here today.”

Which, y’know, fair enough. That tracks, especially in an era where many have a low desire for context and a high affinity for outrage. At the same time, though, Pragmata’s extended development is fascinating – and arguably key to the game’s clear successes.

Watch on YouTube

As has been touched on in two separate Eurogamer hands-on previews since the game broke cover in June, Pragmata is weird, wonderful, and unique. It’s the sort of genre mash-up and mechanical melding that is seldom seen from big-budget, big-money publishers like Capcom.

Experimental concepts like this, bluntly, are usually reserved for indie games. Such a development path is often reserved for smaller-scale game jams or private, never publicly-shown experimentation in the depths of company headquarters – not for games announced with a massive splash in a platform holder broadcast. Pragmata is just that, though – and it perhaps speaks to the strengths of Capcom and its increasingly sure-footed position that it has been willing to allow a team to iterate and experiment with this strange new property.

“The first trailer we put out back in 2020, that was our first base concept trailer. From that base concept to create something that we think is fun, that we think people will really enjoy – it’s taken us a bit of time,” Oyama explains via the Japanese-to-English interpretation of Edvin Edsö, a fellow producer on the title.

“We might have had a concept in the beginning that was fun for a part of the game, for the initial part of the game – that fun might not have reached the entire, full game when we looked at the full picture of it. Having something that’s fun all the way through the game is something we reached towards throughout development.”

room with a Hugh. | Image credit: Eurogamer

That core concept which has survived for the entire development is of course Pramata’s core conceit – the collision of worlds that is the hulking Hugh the the diminutive Diana. Hugh can control a variety of weapons and blast things. Diana hides over his shoulder and hacks enemies. Diana’s hacks aren’t truly enough to take down enemies on their own, but nor are Hugh’s ballistics. Powers combined, the duo has a chance.

I don’t want to retread our previews, but suffice it to say that this results in a curious and engaging system. Squeezing the left trigger to aim at an enemy offers two options – mashing the right trigger to fire away with Hugh’s equipped weapon, or using the face buttons to solve a small puzzle as Diana in order to hack the enemy. This must be undertaken in real time – juggling movement, enemy awareness, two different mechanics, and in a manner of speaking two different characters.

“The general concept of Hugh’s shooting – action – and Diane’s hacking – puzzle – that’s been part of the base concept from the beginning,” Oyama reiterates. “But getting that concept into a game system that’s fun – that took us a bit of trial and error to get to what you see today. Early on, the hacking wasn’t as you see – it was a different sort of style.”

Certainly, one can see where all of that iterative development time went. It would be very easy indeed for a game with a setup like this to be a totally confusing hot mess – but it isn’t. Pragmata is quirky, but the short demos I have experienced so far are nevertheless a joy. The vibes exuded are those of a game that has fallen out of another, more experimental era – from a time when genres were less defined and people were inventing new ones with reckless abandon. In this I find Pragmata instantly enormously refreshing, even if its idiosyncratic core might put some players off.

For this beat, the one thing that differs in the Pragmata hands-on to the previous I’d experienced is the addition of a boss battle. I enjoyed what I had to play before, but the boss really helped to elucidate the reasoning behind some of Pragmata’s weapon design – and how its systems might work across a full-length game. Where the previous demo had me marvelling at a very neat and tightly-executed gimmick, in experiencing a boss fight I now feel I can see the path for the full experience, so to speak.

“Once you see the boss fight, you can more fully see the entire experience,” Oyama agrees when I recount my experience to him.

The world on his shoulders. | Image credit: Capcom

Let me give you an example. Hugh’s Shockwave Gun is basically a shotgun, but it’s a real slow reload even by shotty standards. I didn’t feel very inclined to use the more powerful weapon on normal enemies due to the reload speed – but in a boss battle where regular and repeated hacking is required, those long reloads actually help to give the encounter a textured ebb and flow.

Oyama gets into that a little more, explaining to me how Hugh’s weaponry works. It’s all vaguely cagey stuff – only a tiny fraction of the game has been shown, and the developers clearly don’t want to reveal any unannounced kit. Broadly speaking, though, Hugh has two ‘power weapon’ slots; one slot always dedicated to a damage-dealing beast like that shotgun, and the other home to a weapon which will offer more battlefield control. In this demo that latter weapon was a ‘Stasis Net’ which held approaching enemies still for a short time while dealing minimal damage. Diana’s hacks, meanwhile, will grow over the game via a suite of power-ups.


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Through this, there’s a hope that players can have a good amount of freedom of expression in their play. Plus, there’s no one prescription for enemies – a shooter fan might play more ballistics-heavy, while someone who gets really into the hacking might do the opposite; Pragmata has been carefully designed to work both ways.

“Depending on the player… Well, they might want to play it safe – use the Stasis Net, back off a bit, and then hack and go for careful shots,” Oyama outlines. “Or I can go in hung-ho – skip the Stasis Net, and straight up hack and shoot.

“Also, the actual hacking itself does damage. With that in mind, you can have a playstyle that’s really focused on hacking, or you can hack the enemy once and then just go for shooting outright. So there’s a sort of balance in what you can do there.”

Probably not a paranoid android. | Image credit: Capcom

Part of the challenge of a game like this, with unique and strange systems, is that they can be a difficult sell. It’s plain that it was a difficult thing for Capcom to figure out internally throughout development. Pragmata now works – I can’t wait to play it – but now an arguably even more difficult task is on the horizon – how to explain and sell these mechanics to the public. Even describing it all in a preview is difficult, other than to say: it’s strange, and I love it.

“There’s a bit of a difference in the experience between watching videos of Pragmata and actually getting your hands on a controller, knowing it, and getting immersed in the game. In fact, it’s really different,” Oyama says. There’s a passion in his delivery of this statement – and plainly a clear belief that this team has made something special.

“We’ve worked hard, long years to get something here that people enjoy. And we’re just really glad to see that people are enjoying the game that we put so much time and so much effort into,” Oyama concludes.

He’s hoping that off the back of some strong trade show responses, Pragmata’s unique blend of mechanics can find a broad audience. Honestly, based on what I’ve experienced so far, I hope so too. We need more mad, weird experiments like this, after all.



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August 28, 2025 0 comments
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Hp 14 Laptop Intel Celeron
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This HP Laptop with Office 365 Is Cheaper Than Buying Office Alone, Amazon Clears Out Stock for Labor Day

by admin August 28, 2025


It doesn’t often happen that Amazon’s best-sellers list puts a budget Windows laptop next to high-end MacBook Airs, but that’s what’s happening right now. There’s an HP 14-inch model (Intel Celeron N4020, 4 GB RAM, 64 GB Storage) that has quietly become a serious player on the platform as one of the best-selling laptops on the site, and the reason why is simple: it’s awfully cheap.

With the ongoing Labor Day sale, you can get it for $172 down from its usual $230. At that price, it’s one of the cheapest brand-new laptops you’ll find anywhere, and it’s less than some headphones or tablets. The deal becomes even harder to pass up when you factor in it also includes a one-year subscription to Microsoft 365 which alone usually costs $129 (per year). And since that comes bundled for free, you’re essentially paying close to the value of the software and getting a full-sized laptop in exchange.

See at Amazon

Why You Should Buy It

The screen itself is a 14-inch HD micro-edge bezel panel that boasts a slim design that doesn’t scream “budget.” It’s not too small for Netflix sessions or working on documents, and its size sits comfortably in the sweet spot between being travel-friendly and being productive. The laptop is also easy to carry around thanks to a thin build and light weight which is convenient if you’re going to class or a local coffee shop.

The machine runs on Intel’s Celeron N4020 processor with 4GB of RAM and 64GB of storage. It’s not built for heavy creative projects or gaming, but that isn’t what this computer is meant for. Instead, it’s built to give you coverage for normal things such as Word, Excel, PowerPoint, email or Zoom meetings. The storage might feel tight compared to higher-end models, but remember—Microsoft 365 allows you to access OneDrive cloud storage which means you can keep your most important files online and free up space on the device.

Battery life is always something to watch out for with cheaper laptops, but HP has managed to keep it respectable here: You’ll have hours of use out of one charge, which should be sufficient to get you through a school day or long study session. Add in preinstalled Windows 11 Home, and you’re receiving the latest version of Microsoft’s operating system with periodic updates, all for the cheap price.

At $172, this HP laptop is precariously close to “why not?” territory.

See at Amazon



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Metal Gear Solid Delta Dev Hopes Hideo Kojima Sees How "Respectful" It Is
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Metal Gear Solid Delta Dev Hopes Hideo Kojima Sees How “Respectful” It Is

by admin August 28, 2025



Earlier this summer, Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima laughed when asked if he would play the remake of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, before flatly replying, “No, I won’t.” Regardless, the creative team behind Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater is hopeful that their former colleague will get a chance to see that the remake was created with great reverence and respect for the original.

“We are not sure what [Kojima] would want to do, but we want to deliver this game whilst being very respectful of all the people that we previously worked with,” said MGS Delta producer Noriaki Okamura during an interview with Inverse. “We would love for [Kojima] to see it too.”

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Now Playing: Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater Review

Kojima parted ways with Konami in 2015 after spending decades as one of the top creative minds in the company. Since that time, Kojima has launched his own company and released two Death Stranding games. Okamura has openly shared his admiration for Kojima and expressed his desire to work with him again on MGS. However, Kojima has his own MGS-like game called Physint, which may still be a few years away. The director recently confirmed that Physint is still in a conceptual phase.

Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater is out today on Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Although it won’t be ready at launch, Konami is adding a new online multiplayer mode called Fox Hunt this fall. Unfortunately, it won’t support cross-play. The new version of the game was very positively received in GameSpot’s review of Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater.



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Tomb Raider developers Crystal Dynamics lay off more staff, say the series' future is "unaffected"
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Tomb Raider developers Crystal Dynamics lay off more staff, say the series’ future is “unaffected”

by admin August 28, 2025


Tomb Raider developers Crystal Dynamics have laid off an unspecified number of staff, their second round of jobs cuts this year. The studio say that the future of the Tomb Raider series won’t be affected by this latest taking away of folks’ livelihoods.

The news comes not too long after the Perfect Dark reboot Crystal Dynamics were working alongside The Initiative was cancelled amid Microsoft’s mass cuts in July. The Initiative were shut down as part of that culling.

Crystal Dynamics announced these layoffs via LinkedIn post, which neglected to mention exactly how many staff had been let go.

“Today we made the very difficult decision to part ways with a number of our talented colleagues as the result of evolving business conditions,” they wrote. “This decision was not made lightly. It was necessary, however, to ensure the long-term health of our studio and core creative priorities in a continually shifting market. To those impacted – we recognize and thank you for your hard work, talent, and passion. We are committed to offering the full extent of support and resources at our disposal during this transition.”

Crystal Dynamics added that the future of Tomb Raider is “unaffected” by these job cuts. There’s currently a new Tomb Raider in the works, and it’s set to be published by Amazon.


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Among the former Crystal Dynamics staff who’ve shared that they’re among those laid off are senior animator Jaron Gittleman and senior designer Matthew Angus. “Well it finally happened,” Gittleman wrote on LinkedIn. “After nearly 8 long years I’ve been laid off from Crystal Dynamics. It’s been a helluva run. From Avengers to Tomb Raider to Perfect Dark it has been a journey of a ton of growth. I learned so much and worked with some of the best. I’ll miss them dearly.”

Best of luck to all affected.



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Return to Silent Hill receives teaser trailer for film adaptation, revealing Pyramid Head and release date
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Return to Silent Hill receives teaser trailer for film adaptation, revealing Pyramid Head and release date

by admin August 28, 2025



A teaser trailer for the film Return to Silent Hill has been revealed, giving us a first proper look at the Silent Hill 2 adaptation, its version of Pyramid Head, and a release window.


Christophe Gans is in the director’s chair, following his work on the 2006 Silent Hill film starring Sean Bean. Jeremy Irvine (Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, Treadstone, War Horse) stars as James.


Gans previously stated the film would be a faithful adaptation of Konami’s beloved Silent Hill 2. “I am delighted to partner with Cineverse, which has shown a genuine understanding of fanship,” said Gans back in May. “Return to Silent Hill is an adaptation created out of deep respect for a true masterpiece of a game, Konami’s iconic Silent Hill 2. I hope fans will enjoy and be fulfilled with the experience this new film has to offer.”

Return to Silent Hill – Official Teaser Trailer (2025) Jeremy Irvine, Hannah Emily AndersonWatch on YouTube


The trailer, above, is only 40 seconds long, but it does show a suitably foggy environment, that iconic shot of James looking in the mirror, and of course some scary nurses. Best of all, it ends with a first look at Pyramid Head.


Return to Silent Hill is set for release in January 2026.


It’s all part of a resurgence of Konami’s horror franchise, following the success last year of Bloober’s Silent Hill 2 remake. Silent Hill f will be released next month – and no, it’s not a Soulslike.

This is a news-in-brief story. This is part of our vision to bring you all the big news as part of a daily live report.



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A PC gaming handheld displays Game Pass.
Game Updates

A Bunch Of Game Pass Subscribers Are About To Get New Perks

by admin August 28, 2025


It’s been just over a year since Microsoft fractured its very good, very straightforward Game Pass subscription into a bunch of differently priced tiers that seemed designed to be as confusing as possible. The company is now throwing players who are subscribed to the cheapest Game Pass tiers a bone: increased access to PC and cloud gaming perks.

The company is experimenting with giving Game Pass Core ($10 a month) and Game Pass Standard ($15 a month) members limited access to certain games via the cloud and PC. Xbox Insiders can begin testing this initiative today, with a version of it seemingly planned to roll out to everyone in the not too distant future. The new benefit essentially adds cloud gaming support to all games in the Core (around 50 games) and Standard (over 400 games) libraries. It’ll also let players use cloud gaming for games they own that support the feature, something that was previously a benefit exclusive to Game Pass Ultimate.

Microsoft says it will also make PC versions of some Core and Standard games as well. So if you’re already playing a game on console like Grounded, you can switch to playing the PC version without needing to buy it. This is also neat, though a bit less impressive. Many of the Game Pass Core and Game Pass Standard game are already Play Anywhere titles, meaning buying them on console gets you the PC version and vice-versa, so there’s an argument to be made that the Game Pass versions should have worked the same way. Plus all of this is a raw deal when you consider Game Pass PC, which gives people who didn’t buy an Xbox Series X/S access to way more games, including day-one releases, at a much cheaper price than their console-playing peers.

Still, the latest Insider pilot program is the first step toward beginning to fill in many of these gaps as Microsoft tries to re-unify the gaming experience across different platforms. The Xbox Ally PC gaming handheld arrives in October with an Xbox-like OS layer, and the company’s next generation of hardware is expected to more closely resemble the openness of PC gaming. Of course, the biggest test of that vision lies in whether or not the company will be finally willing to do away with its requirement that console players pay to access multiplayer, a big component of why Game Pass is so expensive to begin with and one that doesn’t exist on PC.



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Two Super Mario Series Amiibo Return To Amazon 7 Years After Selling Out
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Two Super Mario Series Amiibo Return To Amazon 7 Years After Selling Out

by admin August 28, 2025



Amazon has restocked a pair of Nintendo Amiibo figures that it hasn’t had in its inventory in more than seven years. Super Mario fans can add Koopa Troopa and Goomba Amiibo to their collections for $16 each. Both characters are shipped and sold by Amazon, so we wouldn’t expect Mario’s iconic punching bags to remain in stock for very long. Goomba and Koopa Troopa are part of the long-dormant Super Mario Amiibo series.

Both figures released in the US in October 2017 and were sold out at Amazon by time the calendar flipped to 2018. The regular price of Nintendo Switch Amiibo recently increased to $20, so you’re technically saving 20% on Koopa Troopa and Goomba. The same could be said about Sora from Kingdom Hearts, which launched in early 2024 and is in stock for $16.

Super Mario Amiibo series – Koopa Troopa and Goomba

Splatoon fans can get the Pearl & Marina 2-Pack for $25, but you’ll need to move fast; the combo pack is $10 below MSRP and almost out of stock. Randomly, the European edition of Robin from Fire Emblem is also in stock, though for the peculiar price of $20.90.

You can find many other Switch Amiibo figures on Amazon, but the five listed above are the only characters sold/shipped by Amazon at this time. Check out the Koopa Troopa and Goomba Amiibo below. Nintendo Switch 2 owners should also take a look at the deals on the new Zelda and Street Fighter Amiibo before they’re gone.

$16 | MSRP is $20

The Goomba Amiibo launched October 6, 2017, the same day as Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser’s Minions for Nintendo 3DS. Other Super Mario role-playing games have supported Amiibo figures, but Goomba and Koopa Troopa are the only characters to release with a Mario RPG.

In Bowser’s Minions, the figure unlocks Gold Goomba as well as several stamp sheets. Several other Nintendo 3DS games can read the Goomba Amiibo. Most notably, if you scan the figure while playing WarioWare Gold, Wario will draw a hilariously terrible Goomba picture.

Goomba also has unique functionality in a handful of Nintendo Switch games, including Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury, Super Mario Party, and Bayonetta 2. In Super Mario Party, you’ll get an exclusive shiny Goomba sticker.

$16 | MSRP is $20

Koopa Troopa joined the Super Mario Amiibo series the same day as Goomba, so this figure has similar read/write functionality with Superstar Saga + Bowser’s Minions. Players can unlock Gold Koopa Troopa and themed stamp sheets for Bowser’s Minions and the mainline story mode. Koopa Troopa is compatible with several other Mario games for 3DS. And yes, in case you were wondering, Wario is bad at drawing Koopa Troopa, too.

On Switch, Koopa Troopa functions similarly to Goomba in Smash Bros. Ultimate, Bowser’s Fury, Bayonetta 2, and Super Mario Party. You’ll unlock the Koopa Troopa Spirit in Smash Bros., but since a shiny Koopa sticker doesn’t exist in Super Mario Party, it unlocks the Goomba sticker (if you don’t already have it).

Koopa Troopa also unlocks exclusive costumes in two additional games: Conga Master Party and Yoshi’s Crafted World.

Goombas and Koopa Troopas have been franchise fixtures since the original Super Mario Bros. debuted in 1985 on the Nintendo Entertainment System.

In World 1-1, the first few obstacles Mario encounters are the ever-grumpy mushrooms with feet. After flattening a handful of Goombas by jumping on their heads, Mario meets the perpetually smiling tortoise for the first time. There’s only one Koopa in World 1-1, but that’s enough to introduce players to the more efficient method for eliminating Goombas. Over the past 40 years, Super Mario fans have hurled countless Koopa Shells at groups of Goombas.

Nintendo has iterated on Bowser’s original henchmen on many occasions, but you can still count on seeing regular Koopas and Goombas in the vast majority of Super Mario Bros platformers and spin-offs. When you encounter one, there’s a good chance the other is nearby, so it’s only fitting that Amazon has both of these Amiibo in stock at the same time.

Nintendo Switch 2 Amiibo

Amazon has seven of the eight Nintendo Switch 2 Amiibo figures in stock, and four characters are on sale for $20 each. Two of the four Legend of Zelda Sage Amiibo–Tulin and Sidon–are eligible for Amazon’s $10 discount. Amazon is offering $20 discounts on Luke and Jamie Amiibo from Street Fighter 6.

Amazon’s deals will likely end when GameStop’s Amiibo promotion expires this weekend. Unlike Amazon, GameStop has all seven Zelda and Street Fighter Amiibo for $20 each; GameStop is also offering a 50% discount on the retailer’s exclusive Street Fighter 6 Amiibo Card Starter Set.



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Somebody has turned a daft English cheese rolling festival into an even dafter free Steam game
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Somebody has turned a daft English cheese rolling festival into an even dafter free Steam game

by admin August 28, 2025



Amid the madness of Gamescom, we somehow skipped the most important game of the year. Cheese Rolling is a multiplayer ragdoll game inspired by the ancient Gloucestershire, England pastime of racing a hunk of dairy down a hill.


The hill in question is Cooper’s Hill at Brockworth, and the ceremony apparently dates back to at least 1826 – providing you trust the account of that year’s Gloucester town crier – which makes the sport of cheese rolling at least 47 years older than Rock Paper Shotgun. The cheese in question is usually Double Gloucester – scandalously, they resorted to a foam replica in 2013 – and is given a strict one-second headstart.

Watch on YouTube


I hadn’t heard of Cheese Racing before, but I do have relatives down Gloucestershire way, and now I fear for them. I’m not just saying that because I’m vegan, though yes, I’m tempted to go sabotage the festivities by stealing into what I assume is a closely-guarded tent at night, and replacing the wheel with a large ball of tempeh. But mostly I am concerned for their physical safety and moral wellbeing.

Apparently, four kilograms of cheese can do a royal fuckload of damage when it achieves maximum velocity. 16 people were injured during the 1993 event, says Wikipedia, “four of them seriously”. What. Also, Wikipedia claims that nobody has ever caught the cheese, at least in recorded history. The winner is whoever crosses the finishing line second. So this is just a regular old race, in practice, with a wholly unnecessary and patently unsafe fermented milk modifier.

The official title for the event is “Cheese-Rolling and Wake”, and while local historians insist they don’t mean “wake” as in “funeral”, you do have to wonder if this is the distorted folk memory of a terrible accident at a hilltop dairy. Kind of like how “London’s burning, London’s burning” is now a charming nursery rhyme.


I’m going to contact the organisers and suggest they play the Steam version of Cheese Racing instead. Created by mercurial developer The Interviewed – their very name a brainlocking allusion to a history of media relations that does not, seemingly, exist – it’s more dangerous than traditional Gloucestershire cheese-rolling in that it features an active volcano, but less dangerous in that it is not real. No bones will be broken hounding this cheese, unless you try to play it while driving a bus. Also, it supports eight player sessions and proximity voice chat. There’s some paid DLC in the shape of a suit of armour costing £1.48 – as far as I can deduce, this isn’t some kind of scam, but tread cautiously, ye who fell foul of the evil Banana.


The real selling point, though, is that you can actually catch the renegade curd in this one. My friends in Gloucestershire: thanks to the miracle of modern technology, you need no longer harm and humiliate yourselves in your hunger for dairy. Here is a computer. Behold, there is cheese in the computer! Now all you have to do is roll the cheese down the hill – no wait, not the ACTUAL COMPUTER



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  • Blue Protocol: Star Resonance is finally out in the west and off to a strong start on Steam, but was the MMORPG worth the wait?
  • How to Unblock OpenAI’s Sora 2 If You’re Outside the US and Canada
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Recent Posts

  • This 5-Star Dell Laptop Bundle (64GB RAM, 2TB SSD) Sees 72% Cut, From Above MacBook Pricing to Practically a Steal

    October 10, 2025
  • Blue Protocol: Star Resonance is finally out in the west and off to a strong start on Steam, but was the MMORPG worth the wait?

    October 10, 2025
  • How to Unblock OpenAI’s Sora 2 If You’re Outside the US and Canada

    October 10, 2025
  • Final Fantasy 7 Remake and Rebirth finally available as physical double pack on PS5

    October 10, 2025
  • The 10 Most Valuable Cards

    October 10, 2025

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Welcome to Laughinghyena.io, your ultimate destination for the latest in blockchain gaming and gaming products. We’re passionate about the future of gaming, where decentralized technology empowers players to own, trade, and thrive in virtual worlds.

Recent Posts

  • This 5-Star Dell Laptop Bundle (64GB RAM, 2TB SSD) Sees 72% Cut, From Above MacBook Pricing to Practically a Steal

    October 10, 2025
  • Blue Protocol: Star Resonance is finally out in the west and off to a strong start on Steam, but was the MMORPG worth the wait?

    October 10, 2025

Newsletter

Subscribe my Newsletter for new blog posts, tips & new photos. Let's stay updated!

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